Podcast that recently blew my mind!
Charles Duhigg on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert
I had not heard of Charles Duhigg before, but Dax Shepard had him on Armchair Expert recently to talk about being a “Supercommunicator” and to explore his new book: Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection which I am for sure going to have to read after listening to this podcast. I LOVED this podcast! If you know me, you know that this is my jam!
Some powerful quotes from the podcast:
- “Vulnerability is the loudest thing that someone can do. If someone is saying something vulnerable, I feel like I owe it to this person to listen and to be vulnerable in reply… Basically, every communication mistake I’ve made comes down to not recognizing someone’s vulnerability or recognizing it and ignoring it.” (Duhigg)
- “Researchers found that… most of our conversations fall into one of three buckets. There’s practical conversations, emotional conversations, and social conversations… The goal of successful conversation is a conversation where you understand each other. It is not a conversation where you convince each other. It is not a conversation even where you come to agreement on something.” (Duhigg)
- “There’s been all these studies that about 80% of the time we laugh is not in response to something funny. Eighty percent of the time we laugh is because we want to show someone that we want to connect with them. And then when they laugh back, which we all do, they’re showing us that they want to reciprocate. They want to connect with us. And the thing is, neither of us think something is funny. That’s embarrassing. It’s the impulse… the impulse to show that I want to connect with you.” (Duhigg)
- “So for looping for understanding, [number one] ask a deep question, just something with why. Number two, repeat back in your own words what you heard them say. And then number three, and this is the step we usually forget, but it’s the magical one, ask them if you got it right.” (Duhigg)